My friend and our bundles of joy!

Omg what can I say we found out that I was expecting a little baby V and we couldn't be more excited !!! Our boundless expected due date is july 20th 2012 :) did I say omg!

On a better note my best friend Sabrina wanted so bad to be pregnant. Her husband and her would make the best parents ever! They are always do great with my girls and their baby is going to be so lucky to have them for mommy and daddies! The funniest part is we're prego together and it's going to be so fun sharing this experiences it's someone that has been such a great friend to me! Congrats my love bug! I'm so excited!

Things Ive struggled with all my life

Ever since I was a child I have struggled with trying to be accepted. When I was younger I lived with my biological father were he looked at me as being the daughter that was going to make straight A's and graduate and go to the college so all my life with him all i ever got for presents was books. I never got any kind of special attention from my father. while my brother always got what he wanted. He got dirt bikes and a four wheeler and all this stuff while once again all I got was books. My father went through wives like people change socks its seemed like almost everyday.  Most of the time I was very jealous because I felt like he would take the time to show all these women attention but i never got the attention that I needed. I see all these girls with this great father daughter relationship and that is all I had ever wanted.  These woman always seemed to not like me and I never knew why.I guess they felt they needed to be the only lady in his life. Well with one wife something happened that I would never forget. I remember that she cooked peas one time and tacos another time. I remember seeing her try to force my sister eat the peas. and to this day I will not eat them and I am pretty sure she will not as well.  Then came the tacos and i remember her forcing them down my throat to make me eat them. Surprisingly my father took her to court not sure what came of it but that was that. Then came the next wife. Ill never forget my brother and I came home and our first chore to do was to feed the dogs. Well we did exactly that and by the time he came home the dogs had already been fed and our father flipped his crap and ended up beating us with a belt. We both ran away that night to be with our mother.  that was a struggle with custody battles and everything for a while. We finally got to our mom and were safe.  Ill also never forget our father saying he did not want anything to do with and for some reason there isnt a day that goes by that i don't think of that.  

Later on better things were to come my mom remarried and and he adopted us. At this point I became Alysa Marie Motter and my name was Lesley Jane Felker.  I got rid of the past and in with the new. I am thankful to have a new dad that calls to check on me or sends me a text every once in a while.

The other thing that I have struggled with is losing my daughter. Reygan is one of the most important things in my  life. I still struggle everyday wondering what was going through that judges mine taking a baby from its mother. One thing that I do know and it helps me sleep at night is that Reygan has a great dad that really love hers and I will never worry about how she is. She has what I wish I had had growing up.

Another thing that I have struggled with lately is my mom having breast cancer. I worry everyday how she is doing and is she working herself to death when she really just needs to sit and relax and enjoy life. Sometimes I sit and cry thinking i feel helpless like i can not do anything to make her better. It also give me anxiety what if i get it. All I can say is my mother is a very strong person and I dont know what I would do with out her. I know that one day I hope my daughters feel the same about me.

I know this is long and drawn out but I had to get it off my chest. There are things that people hold in that they can not just talk to with anyone so my computer seems to be my best companion lately.  I try to live life to the fullest and be this happy person all the time because that is the best way to hide whats inside. so heres to living every day to the fullest and never taking advantage of what you have because you never know when its going to be gone.

One TuTu Three Bowtique

One TuTu Three Bowtique

So I've been making bows for about a month now just for my baby girls to wear. Ive went to buy them bows and thought to myself and wow those are too expensive.  So my dearest friend Sabrina was over and we came up with the idea of making bows and tutus :)  I know what your gonna say everyone makes those, but guess what its something to keep us busy and gives us a chance to flash back and remember that we too are girls that just wanna have fun :). so we started out with these little bows and I have to say they are too cute 

but were challenging to learn at first.  

 After we mastered that we stepped it up and started making and designing boutique bows. 

I have to say we didnt know what the name of our business was going to be until a dear friend charles help come up with the name :) (thanks Charles). so now that we had mastered the boutique bow we went all out on the layered stacked boutique bows and now were rolling!

So if your interested feel free to check out our facebook site. 

 Now were not here to get rich and make a lot of money that is why we decided to make our bows affordable and to just have fun :) 

  http://www.facebook.com/pages/One-Tutu-Three-Bowtique/270240576346897

Trick O Treat Smell My Feet

Wow was this not a fun night, but yet so busy. The day started off on a Monday which was a crazy day to do trick o treating since how so many people had to work and then rush off to take their little goblins and ghouls and princess to get their pales full of candy. I have to say it was one of my favorites this year! the year before Victoria did not understand the concept and when people would put candy in her pale and she didn't like it she would take it back out and put it back and get what she wanted ( this was a tad bit embarrassing) .  This year she actually went up to the doors and said trick r treat. She even told them thank you after getting the candy. (I felt proud)!!! One thing i did notice she seemed scared of any zombie that she seen....hint hint do away with the zombies.  There were several people that said she was the best dressed they seen all night (i believed it not being prejudice at all ;) ) but over all it was a great night.  Of course as soon as she got home the first thing she did was dive into the candy and then pass out from all the walking.  It was a fun innocent night and shes already planning for the next Halloween lol ! I love my little Princess / fairy :))))))

 

On another note my Reygan was a sweet little Cow girl and she was so beautiful oh how I wish I was there with her to capture the memories that I am missing :*(

A Mother And Her Babies

Where would I be today without my babies? I would probably be living somewhere in my own apartment with my nursing degree that I have wanted for so long but would I choose that lifestyle over my babies? Well of course not. Its my babies that keep me going.  Every morning I wake up to hearing the wonderful sound of Victoria's voice saying, "Mommy I wub you". And no matter what else is going on at the time that makes everything better.We are all selfish when we do not have kids. We mainly think of me me me me, but when a child comes along everything changes. You can not just jump in the car and go shopping instead you load the babies up and go shopping for clothes and toys for them lol.  Everyday is different and you never know what to expect (some more interesting than others) but its fun.  I truly love being a mother. I have two of the best little girls that anyone could ask for.

Reygan is my little angel that can melt you heart by just a smile. She is so self oriented and very bright. She is very soft spoken but boy if she gets going you can not shut her up. Mine and Reygans bond is so different from what other mothers have. I hold this special place in my heart for her because I do not get to see her often.  She goes back and forth between her father and I. I had Reygan when I was 19 and lets say she was not expected but she was a present from GOD.  She changed my life tremendously. When I found out I was pregnant I hit mommy mode and knew that was what I was meant to do. She was such a good baby and has been an angel since the days that I laid eyes on her.  She is in kindergartin this year and boy am I amazed how well she has caught on. Her daddy got her in softball and she is doing so well. Mommys little protege :)

Now Victoria is my other angel and as you can see they are two totally different little girls. While Reygan is my calm collective one Victoria is my very out going baby. She is soooo funny and knows exactly what to do to get her way. Victoria is definitely a daddy's girl. She has her daddy wrapped around her finger. The one thing about Victoria that I love the most is that she is so cute and loves to wear dresses, but while wearing her dresses she playing in the mud lol. When we found out we were pregnant with Victoria everything changed. I was sooooo sick it was awful and not as easy going as Reygan's pregnancy.  boy let me tell you maw maw and paw paw fell in love at first sight when they got to meet their grand-baby   She is a joy to my life and loves her big sissy. I do not know what I would do without my babies.

I have to say the hardest job in the world is being a mommy. You are always worrying that your babies are okay no matter where you are. Your always trying to keep them happy and I would not trade being a mommy for anything. I love my angels and I can say that I myself have experienced love at for site :) Tell your mommy you love then today and thank them for everything that they have done and given up doing for you just to be your mother :)

Winston Salem Fire Department

Station 1 Engine 1 Truck 1

While we were home on leave my husband took me back to his old stomping ground.  Before my husband and I met and when he was in high school he use to be what is called a Junior Fire Fighter.  He use to tell me the stories of what he did and I could see in his eyes that that is and will always be his true passion.  He has a old friend up there whose name is Brad Wilfong. Hes been like a father to Anthony and is always great with the girls.  We love to go to the station of course for Anthony to reminise about the past but also to enjoy seeing all the equipment on these trucks and the insides and what the guys do from a day to day basis. Well while i was there I thought that I would take some pictures of what was once a big part of my husband life. Now they mean more than just a memory.One day hopefully he will be back on his stomping ground once again being another kind of hero.  Pray for the saftey of all the fire fighters of Winston Salem and every other station in the United States and ESPECIALLY for those of 9/11

The Turn Out Gear Of a Hero

Looking at this pressure panel is very Overwhelming

Our FireMan Will Never Be Forgotten

Life as I know it!!!

Some of us know what it is like to embrace our soldier for one last time until next time. Some of us know how it feels to sleep alone at night for 12-15 months worrying every night if your soldier is going to call you when you wake up. Some of us may even have experience the men in class a's coming to your door telling you news you could never prepare yourself for. Yes I say some because those who have not experienced this I wish I could say you never will, but I can not make that promise to you. The point is for those whose soldiers do come back home We do no always get the soldier that left us 12 months prior. I myself have experienced this. My soldier went through hell and he will be reminded of this everyday of his life. There are days I wish I had my husband back the way he was when we said I do, But the truth is that is impossible. It's hard as a wife to see tour husband struggle with things he can't remember or to get aggravated over something simple. The one thing that I have learned is to be strong for him. I have learned the little things that trigger his moments of aggravation. I have also learned how to wake him up every morning so that I do not startle him. I've watched him wake up in night sweats or nights when he simply can't fall asleep. I have seen it all. I have to honestly say that I would trade it for nothing. I always tell myself that I should thank the lord above for he is still alive and it could of been worse. So everyday when you complain about your husband being aggravated or complain that he's playing video games or simply wants to go play golf just stop and tell yourself I should be thankful that my husband is safe and alive and in arms reach because someone out there another army wife just wishes that her husband was alive to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much he loves her for she can only see him in pictures and in her dreams.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Mothers Love Is The Stongest Medicine

Well I have to say there is no worse pain than seeing your own little one sick and needing their mommy! These past two days have been rough and sad all in one!
It started when we went to the livestock auction with some great friends Melissa Wells, Sabrina Love, and Heather R. Reygan looked at me and said mommy I don't feel good. So I felt her head and she felt warm. Well after grabbing a bite to eat I took her temperature and it was 102. So I gave her some Tylenol and she said she was feeling better. Well after the eventful night we got the girls home, showered, and in bed. Not long after did Reygan say mommy I don't feel good my belly and my head hurts. I checked her temperature and it was a whiling 103. I gave her Tylenol put a cold rag on her head and decided it was emergency room time. After getting to urgent care they got her in and her temperature was 103.6. Well I was asked what mess I gave her and I told them 2 tsp of Tylenol and they went on to tell me that I was not suppose to giver her Tylenol cause it sits in the liver and lets the fever fester ( FYI ALL MOMS) so then they told me that I wasn't suppose to go by the amount on the box because it wasn't enough to do anything. That they put those amounts on there so that you cant sue them. (weird I know) so then they wanted her to give a urine sample. Well after her drinking a pedialyte juice and pedialyte Popsicles and water she ended up throwing up everything. So there went our urine sample. Well then they needed blood and if you have ever gotten blood from a five year old u know what I'm talking about! The put her in this papoose thing that wrapped her up so she couldn't fight them. Just the papoose thing alone scared me. They got her blood after she screamed that dramatic horror film scream. Then finally after convincing her to pee for nana we got a urine sample. Well test results came back and everything was good except her white blood cells were up :(. Then the doctor said it's a viral thing it has to be cause everything looks fine. So gave me Motrin and sent us home. We were there for 5 hours.
Well 25 hours later she still can't keep anything down but water. It kills me because my poor baby doesn't feel good and the only thing I can do is hold her and love one her :(. Everyone pray she gets better. Off to cuddle with her right now ! <3

DaDDy's Girl

A Fathers Love

What can be more precious than a father wanting to spend time with his bundle of joy or better yet "Daddy's Girl".  There are so many moments in our lives that we wish we could go back to visit. Unfortunetly for a father that serves in the United States Army they do not have a chance to make as many memories.  This is why they have to go in overdrive when they are with their families.  When the military is not sending them on TDY's and Schools.  Today I am fortunate that my husband is in the Warrior Transition Unit of Fort Campbell.  They have given him the opportunities to do things that many do not have the chance to do.  At 0830 this morning my daughter said to me, "Mommy me and my Daddy are going to catch fishys and I am going to catch a rainbow one". I asked her if I could come and she said "No mommy this is just for Daddy and Big Girls".  I am so grateful to have the time that I have to spend with my daughters and my husband.  We must always remember to take every moment as if it was our last because you never know when it might be your last.  Also remember that when your spending time with your families there is always a soldier that is spending his time in another country talking to his family through a computer! Take these times to treasure your Soldier and other family members because they care for you most!

How to handle! Soldiers in the Army!

What is the army doing to our soldiers? There is this big saying that we hear all the time and it is "the Army issued you a uniform it didn't issue you a family" in my opinion it's the families that issue the army a soldier so it should come first ! From the time our soldiers enter in the army they are yelled at like dogs! They are made to do things that they might not want to do! But does the army teach soldiers how to leave their work at work and not bring it home?
It seems that in a lot of situations induing mine our soldiers sometimes treat us as If we were there soldiers! They yell and talk to us as if we are their dogs! But what can we do about the situation? You yell back and you stand the chance of them coming at you blacking out and blaming it on the army or war! Our soldiers are seeing thing most will never see in their life time ! So shouldn't the army go out of their way to make sure their soldiers are being properly seen medically to keep from hearing "soldier stabs wife to death" or soldiers kills wife using combative moves taught to him by the military! So wives speak up if your afraid! Don't be afraid to talk to someone cause it could possibly save your life!

Not Just Another Army Wife

I'm sure everyone hears army wife and they automatically compare us to the television show. In all reality we are nothing like that. Our life is so much more complicated. You will never see us bust into special forces demanding to see our husband or you'll never see us, " buddy buddy" with the Generals Wife. Our life is so much more complex than that.  We are what they are called the Silent Rank. Our husbands are our rocks, but it takes a great wife for our husbands to be able to leave knowing that everything is taking care of at home.  It drives me crazy to see people who have no clue about our style of living to judge so strongly.  We as army wives stick together. We have our clicks just like any other person, but we always help each other in need.  It kills me to see my husband leave for a year at a time but the joy of reconnecting when he's comes back it out of this world.  They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder.  Deployments are SO hard on a marriage as well as the rest of the family.  We just have to suck it up and make the best of it. It's ok to cry and its ok to get mad as long as you know in the end everything is going to be ok.   Life of an army wife is not easy, but who said life was?